Readers discuss Hero of the Underground a memoir by Jason Peter with Tony O'Neill
Discuss Hero of the Underground a memoir by Jason Peter with Tony O'Neill. Share your reviews, thoughts & comments.
Double Nickel gives his two cents
http://www.jasonpeter.com
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Double Nickel gives his two cents: Readers discuss Hero of the Underground a memoir by Jason Peter with Tony O'Neill
Once I started reading the book, I couldn't put it down. I kept thinking with every passing chapter that this would be the time he would get clean. At Peter's book signing yesterday he said himself that he is "not a writer." Well, for not being a writer, the guy is a hell of a writer! He is able to drawl the reader into his state of mind during all of the things he went through from his time at Nebraska to his drug use. His descriptions are so vivid that I felt like I was right there in that swanky hotel room with drugs all over the night tables, sweating and passing in and out of consciousness. I think this book is going to do much more than he even realizes. I absolutely can see it helping people who have addicts as loved ones, but I can't really speak to that as it isn't something that I have experienced first hand. I think that as time goes on, I can see this book being read in college classes because it is such a story of redemption. There are so many levels of the book that would merit discussion and I really think that it's going to get out there and be hugely successful beyond what Jason even would expect. The book took me in from page one and made me feel deeply through each chapter. What an amazing story. I am so happy that Jason was able to write this book and hope that it brought him another level of healing. It's great that he is back in Lincoln and that he is now living the life that he deserves.
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I totally agree with everything you said Kylee. At the book signing yesterday, it was so great to see all the support he received from Nebraskans and I presume from other states as well. A woman sitting in front of me yesterday stated this book should be required reading for high school athletes, totally agree with that also. Jason, I loved talking to you yesterday and will continue to support by listening to "The Spread" thanks again
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Jason-
What an amazing book. I read the excerpts in the Omaha World Herald and had to go out and buy the book the day it came out. I read it in 2 evenings. I think that what you have done in telling the cold hard truth will help more than you know. I have a 13 year old daughter that I brought with me to your book signing Saturday, she is a Soccer Player and she will be reading your book. She was captivated by your talk and had a lot of questions that opened up great dialog between her and I. I honestly believe that this book should be required reading of all High School Athletes/Students. In high school and after I hung around with some very shady people, most were drug/alcohol addicts. I was one of the lucky ones that did not get caught up in it. But I very easily could have. I too had low self esteem and the druggies always made you feel like your very best friend. I can't say enough great things about your book. My whole family is passing it around to read.
I loved getting to meet you Saturday and I was a little star struck and nervous and did not get to say near as much as I wanted to. But I felt it an honor just to get to shake your hand. A Husker GREAT!!
Keep up the great work look forward to hearing more from you in your blog around Husker season!
GO BIG RED!!!!
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Jason, awesome book! First of all, I am so happy you made it all the way back from hell! The book, Jason, was one of those rare books someone cannot put down; I managed to read it in about 2 days (2 sittings!).
Your story, Jason, is a very scary one in the least. I am so pleased you are back with family and friends, working at a job that is the envy of every Husker fan in the world! Continued happiness to you and yours, Jason.
As far as the book, Jason, it was totaling riveting from the get-go! I, also, was taken back, that you didn't take the permanent cure sooner than you did; your book kept me on edge, all the way to the end.
Again, continued success in all your endeavors, Jason. Your book should be required reading, as said above.
Unfortunately, being here in Pocatello, Idaho, I didn't have the opportunity to come to a book signing. At least,Jason, I did have the opportunity to meet,
shake hands and take some photos with you at the USC Rally in LA, season before last. It was wonderful to see you getting your health back.
God bless
Bob
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I am not finished with the book yet (4 more chapters) but so far i can't beleive what i've read. It's unbelievable that you are able to share your story with the world.
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Great book. Blew through it in no time flat. Good Luck with the recovery Jason.
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Dear Mr. Peter,
As a University of Nebraska alumni and lifelong husker (and avid football) fan, I watched with great anticipation your appearance on ESPN's First Take program yesterday. I too, have struggled with addiction (cocaine, marijuana), and even after 2 years of sobriety, still have an ongoing battle with severe depression and suicidal thoughts on a daily basis. I read some excerpts of your book in the Lincoln Journal and Omaha World Herald and was looking forward to hearing your comments on the show.
Sir, I cannot tell you how disappointed and shocked I was to hear you state that "suicide is the most selfish act one can make" or something to that effect. Do you really think that? Or are you just saying that to promote your book? Have you thought it through? Do you know how narrow-minded and judgmental that sounds? Do you really think a statement like that on national TV is one that will benefit others who are feeling suicidal? Are you trying to help people or push them over the edge? How much research have you done on the subject of suicide prevention and what makes you think you are some kind of spokesperson for helping others with suicidal thoughts? Just because you tried to commit suicide and are semi-famous, do you think that automatically puts you in a position to help others who currently have thoughts of commiting suicide? When you tried to commit suicide, were you being selfish? Or were you just trying to end the pain?
According to the largest suicide prevention website on the internet, suicide is NOT a selfish act and making such a statement is not only IGNORANT and CRUEL, but it also perpetuates the stigma associated with suicide:
http://www.suicide.org/suicide-is-not-a-selfish-act.html
This is the first web page listed if you "google" the word suicide:
http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/
It states "When pain exceeds pain-coping resources, suicidal feelings are the result. Suicide is neither wrong nor right; it is not a defect of character; it is morally neutral. It is simply an imbalance of pain versus coping resources." It also says, "If I start piling weights on your shoulders, you will eventually collapse if I add enough weights... no matter how much you want to remain standing. Willpower has nothing to do with it."
You stated in your July 6 '08 Lincoln Journal article that "Feeling down..Feeling bad about yourself didn't help me." So why on earth would you think that telling someone who feels suicidal that they are also being selfish will help them?!? Isn't that just one more reason to go ahead and kill themself? Do you think that laying another huge brick of guilt on the enormous pile of guilt that person already has will help them??
Who were you speaking to when you made that statement? People who need help with suicidal thoughts, or prospective buyers of your book? Who is your audience when you're on national TV making blanket statements about suicide?
Remember when you were in all that pain trying to get off heroin and morphine and asked the doctor for help with the pain and he said to "Suck it up!"? Did that help you? Well telling someone who is feeling suicidal that they are being selfish is even worse motivation, let me assure you.
Did you write this book to help others, or to make money (as you've already admitted in your June 29 '08 Omaha World Herald interview with Tom Shatel)? Maybe you're hoping to help others WHILE making money? That's great. I hope you can do just that. But as you embark on your book tour, please give some thought to what you are saying, who it is you are saying it to, and the advice you give others who are still still struggling with the pain and guilt associated with addiction.
Sincerely,
Joe W.
waverly10@netzero.net
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v01XlJ1m6Ro
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First of all, let me say that I am sorry for whatever pain or problems that you are dealing with Joe, but I think your attack on JP is completely unfounded. He doesn't claim to be an expert. He is simply telling his story in the hopes that people out there facing similar issues can relate and find some hope in his story. I agree with him that suicide is completely selfish and I'm sorry if that offends you. When a person goes to that extent to escape from whatever issues they are dealing without regard for what they will do to their friends and family that they leave behind,well, that is the definition of selfish. Your family and friends are left wondering why and if they could have done something different to prevent YOUR actions. If you are willing to leave them with those problems to releive the pain that your feeling, then I'm sorry, but you are selfish. I hope that you get help for whatever you are struggling to deal with and I am not trying to be insensitive to your situation in this response, but I did feel the need (just as you did)to state my opinion.
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Over 90 percent of the people who die by suicide have a mental illness at the time of their death, so they are not thinking clearly. Saying that a person who had severe clinical depression, schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, PTSD, or a similar illness was engaging in an act of selfishness when they died by suicide; even though their thought process, mood, and judgment were greatly affected by their mental illness – is not only inaccurate, but downright cruel, to both the suicide angel and the suicide survivors.
And those who use the word "selfish" are merely helping perpetuate the STIGMA associated with suicide. A suicidal action that manifests from intense, excruciating, unbearable pain associated with a serious mental illness has nothhing to do with selfishness. Period.
http://www.suicide.org/suicide-is-not-a-selfish-act.html
Lots of people who commit suicide have no friends or family, Kylee. Were they being selfish?
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According to the blah blah blah something ignorant something something cruel is all I heard from you. I hope you don't have big hopes of sitting next to man upstairs after you commit suicide. Not selfish? When pain exceeds pain-coping resources? Maybe instead of quoting others opinions for half your blog you should ask why or how you're still here since you think about it all the time. In life you are never given more than you can handle and at some point while contemplating suicide you have to dig deep down inside yourself and find that lost set of balls and use them to perservere through whatever it is no matter how painful it is. You can't honestly tell me, unless you quote somebody else, that by taking your own life and subsuqentially alleviating all your problems does not force anyone of importance in your life to be left holding a big bag of your shit that for some reason you were incapable of mustering up a little bit of willpower to deal with whatever it is.
Setting aside the book, your websites, numerous qoutes, and lack of your own thoughts and feelings about your own struggles with addiction and suicide leave me wondering how serious these almost daily thoughts of suicide really are. If they are as bad you suggest maybe you should continue your blogging from a psych ward. Shoot, maybe you just need some attention or maybe you just need to get laid. God forgive me for that last comment and would delete it but can't seem to find the willpower to delete it.
Using a mental disorder as a way of justifying suicide is just another way for people to pass the blame anywhere they want as long as it's not them. That's just my opinion from having dealt with the suicide of someone extremely close to me more than once.
Oh yeah, I can't forget about the entire year of my life that I don't remember because while in the psych ward after a near accidental overdose of heroin and oxycontin I was diagnosed as being schizophrenic, ADHD, and that I also suffer from severe depression. These quacks for doctors gave me so many meds that I was practically comatose for an entire year until my family actually started taking me off as many of the meds as possible without killing me. Just prior to my intervention I somehow managed to drive 45 miles away from my house, rent a hotel room, polish off a couple of litres of whiskey, and since I had my 9mm with me I decided that I might as well just shoot myself while I had temporarilly suppressed all my shame and guilt brought on from my addictions and that label that the doctor's so freely and without care of the possibility of maybe they were wrong with my diagnosis.
With the pistol cocked and under the circumstances I look back and wonder why I had a smile on my face. In my opinion and only my opinion I knew I didn't have to fight any more and that's all I cared about-not to uncommon of remarks left in many suicide notes. A trace tear hit my lips as I put down the gun and headed 2 hospital!
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I'm sorry you had to experience the loss of loved ones to suicide. I'm sure it was difficult telling their family how selfish you thought they were.
Your words "I knew I didn't have to fight any more and that's all I cared about" only serve to make my case. You weren't thinking clearly because your mind was not functioning properly at the time. Thoughts of what it would do to others never entered your mind.
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Obviously we agree to disagree and that's what makes America a wonderful place! I see where you're coming from and the literal symbolysm of putting down the gun, feeling the right emotion of guilt with the beginning of tears, and going to the hospital even though I was completely overwhelmed with medications, drugs, and alcohol.
Look we both took some cheap shots at each other which i will admit to have initiated and I apologize for personally insulting you and your thoughts about what you thought was displayed in a innapropriate manner. I'm not doing any good PR for the writers of this book by acting like an asshole to someone I don't even know. Even though i've been sober for a while I still act like an addict from time to time and that usually results in me knowing all and everyone else is just some poser. My ex-girlfriend who stood by my side for many years was actually the one who bought this book for me yesterday and when I finished it earlier this morning I first couldn't believe that I actually read a book in less than a day and secondly it really brought back some vivid memories of my struggles. I actually saw the website on the book and was just planning on writing a nice little paragraph congratulating Jason on his sobriety and new found life as well as giving Tony a thumbs up on the honesty and great delivery of the book. While I was looking where to post a comment to them personally I ran across your post and it obviously rubbed me the wrong way. I still stand by my opinions and thats all they are. I have absolutely no desire to get into some cyber squabble with someone I don't know just because you don't feel the same way about something as I do. I would say that if this would of happened face to face with this dialogue I would have knocked your ass out after you disrespected my homeboy who killed himself. Your entitled to your opinions too and i've said all I need to say. I wouldn't waste your time on another comment for me cuz i'm pretty sure once I log off I won't be back unless they write another book. Peace!
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So you would have knocked my ass out for inferring that your homeboy was being selfish when he committed suicide?
Yet you stand by your opinion that you disagree with my statement that calling suicide a selfish act is ignorant and cruel?
You don't make much sense. You can't have it both ways.
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Joe W.,
Thanks for your thoughts and concerns regarding the topic of suicide. You are entitled to have your own feelings on this topic, as am I. I do take offense to the idea that I am trying to push people over the edge, not in a million years would I ever do something like that. Whether you agree or not, I am speaking from the heart and I am speaking from experience. I don't know whether or not your references/sources speak from personal experience but I do. Sometimes the truth hurts but I saw the effect that my attempt on my life caused with my family and close friends. If you listen to the interview or read my book, I make clear that these are my thoughts. My suicide attempt tore my family apart, they were filled with endless amounts of questions that they would have been left to deal with without the possibility of getting answers. Most of the time when someone is the victim of a selfish act, they have the opportunity to ask questions and find out why but if the man or woman committing the act is no longer living, where do you suppose the answers will come from. I've never claimed to be an expert on the issue, all I've ever done is speak about my own experiences and my own feelings, nothing more, nothing less. If you don't like what I am saying you have all the power in the world to change the channel or change the dial. I've read a lot of material on different topics by the so-called "experts", I've handed my life over to some of them and let me tell you, they're not always right. I have every right to challenge the "experts" and if you have ever listened to me really talk(not just 5 minutes on a TV show), you would only hear me talk about "myself". I never give advice because what works for me, might not work for you and vice versa. In regards to your comment about "trying to sell books" or "financial gain", let me ask you, did I gain financially when I did the HBO Real Sports segments 4 years ago, did I gain financially when I would jump on the airwaves to talk about my addiction, the answer is NO. Did I say that when I signed on to do the book there was some financial consideration, YES, I did, but you should try committing almost 3 years of your life to writing a book for a major publishing company. Do you think this was something that I put together over 3 months, spending 30 minutes each night on the computer and whoolah, I wrote a book. I dedicated almost 3 years of my life to writing this book and the ultimate goal is that it helps people. Also just because the largest group on the planet says that suicide is not a selfish act does that mean that they are right. The largest recovery program on the earth told me that in order for me to get my life back on track and get off drugs, I had to do it their way, I tried multiple times doing it their way, it didn't work, FOR ME! If 5 people tell me that the sky is green and only 2 people tell me the sky is blue, does that mean it's green. I am a grown man who has worked very hard to get my life back on track and if I choose to talk about my experiences and give my beliefs on certain topics, I believe I have every right to. My life has been at the bottom of a barrel many times and I've thought that there was no hope at all but just because someone is depressed doesn't mean that we should take life for granted. Life isn't always easy and the sun isn't going to be shinning everyday but even when a person feels like this, suicide should never be the only option. At least that's MY take. JP
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Jason, well said. Everyone has an opinion, and no reason you should not be allowed to have yours.
As far as suicide being a selfish act.......I agree it is! Unfortunately, many do not realize they are being selfish at the time of their act. You, Jason, as you said in your book, you had a strong family upbringing; that is, probably, why you didn't succumb to suicide.
Take care.
C-Bob
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A terminally ill 95 year old woman commits suicide. Was she being selfish?
A man with schizophrenia committed suicide after "voices" told him to. Was he being selfish?
A man responsible for a car accident that killed his entire family and left him a paraplegic decides to commit suicide. Was he being selfish?
A man with unbearable pain due to advanced multiple sclerosis (a terminal disease) commits suicide. Was he being selfish?
A woman suffering from severe depression commits suicide after she stopped taking her antidepressant medication. Was she being selfish?
A war veteran with post traumatic stress disorder commits suicide after killing his best friend in a friendly fire accident. Was he being selfish?
A woman with bipolar disorder can no longer afford her medication, goes off it, and commits suicide the next week. Was she being selfish?
A mentally ill homeless man with no living relatives commits suicide. Was he being selfish?
A 14 year old girl commits suicide after 10 years of sexual abuse by her father. Was she being selfish?
Was 13 year old Megan Meier (http://www.nytimes.com/2007/11/28/us/28hoax.html) being selfish?
I'm not saying suicide was the right thing to do for any of these people. In fact, I'm not judging them at all. And I'm not saying that their survivors didn't suffer. I'm only saying that to characterize the actions of these people as "the most selfish act one can make" is cruel, ignorant and extremely judgmental.
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Jason,
First of all, thank you for responding to my comments. I really didn't think you would respond and I thank you for taking the time to explain your position on the topic.
I agree that you are entitled to your opinion and believe that you speak from the heart.
I still respectfully disagree that people who commit suicide, or attempt to, are guilty of "one of the most selfish acts one can make" and I truly believe that such statements are cruel and ignorant. I have a family member who attempted suicide and it did not tear our family apart, it brought us all closer together. Not one of us was angry at that family member, instead, we all realized the person was suffering and in pain and needed our empathy and support. None of us said, "how could you be so selfish"? None of us laid a guilt trip on the person. We all asked, "how can we help you"? The thought never crossed our minds that the person was even in a state of mind to be able to consider all of the ramifications of their actions and how it would affect us. As it turns out, the person was suffering from bipolar disorder (as well as addiction) and with treatment and medication, is now doing fine.
I don't disagree that suicide is devastating for friends and family left behind, but for the act itself to be selfish, the person would have to consciously intend to hurt their loved ones when they commit the act and if that person is suffering from a mental illness (i.e. severe depression due to lack of seratonin in the brain) that clouds their judgment so that they aren't even thinking straight enough to be capable of considering the full impact of their actions, then stating that the act itself is selfish would be inaccurate. All they are trying to do is alleviate the pain which to them has become unbearable. They may not be going about it the best way (obviously), but to them, it's the only way they can think of from their point of view (a point of view that is limited by their illness, by their faulty brain chemistry).
Why do you think some people are deemed not guilty of murder by reason of insanity?
I realize now that you are only relating your own experiences and not claiming to be an expert on the issue. When you said "suicide is the most selfish act one can make", I took it as a blanket statement by someone who wrote a book, rather than one man's personal opinion. If you had said, "my act of committing suicide was very selfish" I probably wouldn't have reacted to it the way I did. But the way you said it made it sound like you think it applies to everyone who has ever committed or attempted suicide and if so, you are entitled to your opinion just as I am entitled to disagree with it. I would still encourage you to speak to suicide survivors and people who work with prevention hotlines and support groups before repeating such a blanket statement on national TV.
Do you really think you could look at a person who lost a loved one to suicide in the face and tell them their loved one committed the most selfish act a person can make? Do you really think that telling a person who has suicidal thoughts that they are guilty of being selfish is a deterrent? Speaking for myself, motivation by guilt has always been a demotivator.
Anyway, regardless of our difference of opinion on the subject of suicide being a selfish act or not, I can see by many of the comments that your book has helped alot of people and you should be commended for that and for how far you have come in overcoming your addiction. I apologize for trivializing the effort it took to write your book. I tried the AA/NA route and like you, it wasn't for me. I tried psychologists and psychiatrists and anti-depressants and it just seemed to make things worse. I lost all my friends when I broke ties with my drug pals and my family, while supportive, doesn't seem to know what to say or do. The one thing I heard you say that helped you was having structure in your life. I don't have that and wish I did. I used to have a great job until I turned to drugs and now I'm not sure if I'm capable of holding down even the simplest of jobs. I'm sober 2 years now but feel like I'm in suspended animation and can't seem to move forward with my life. I think in a way, I'm fearful of feeling good again because I don't trust myself to make the right decisions when things go good.
Enough rambling. I wish you well.
Joe
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Like I said, I am just expressing my opinion and letting you know why I feel that JP probably made the comment. I think he does have a right to comment on it since he's obviously been in that state of mind before. I don't think that your comment about perpetuating the STIGMA makes much sense. I don't see how we could view suicide in a positive light. Surely that's not what your saying? I'm not going to continue arguing back and forth with you. I respect your opinion, I just don't agree with it. Obviously you don't agree with the comment that JP made and you've made that clear. I do agree with him and that's it. I don't believe that he was trying to be judgmental or malicious. He was explaining his view on the situation that he went through. Period.
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If you think that my comments are in any way promoting or encouraging suicide, then you are misunderstanding them.
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Congratulations on your recovery and your riveting book. What struck me was the many ways you showed incredible strength in the different phases of your life. Physical strength and determination in your HS and college football days. The strength to deal with and help your brother in his time of need. And, in a twisted sort-of way, the strength to stay alive and maintain during your drug addiction. While I suspect it's a neverending battle, the strength you exhibited to make the decision and stick with your recovery is admirable. Good luck learning to leverage the almost superhuman strength you've exhibited in your experiences to the current path you are on. Emotional strength is the most difficult to develop and master...and the most important. Sounds like you are well on your way in that category as well given your recovery, your marriage and your desire to help others. In my experiences, I've learned that it's a balancing act that requires constant monitoring but the strengths you've developed, good and bad, contribute to the evolution of your emotional strength.
Loved the book and hope you maintain the peace.
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It took me two nights to read your book and finished last night. You're a gifted writer and your story was incredible. I am recommending your book to everyone I know! Good luck to you.
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I just finished reading Hero of the Underground literally five minutes ago. It was one of the most moving and inspiring books as I have ever read. It really inspired me to acheive any goal I put my mind to. There are so many things that I would like to write in this e-mail but words can not even describe how overcome I am with determination. If there is one thing that is restored back into me after reading that book is hope. I would really like to thank Jason for that. There are so few things you can rely on in this world. Family, close friends and hope. The world would be a better place with more attitudes like Jasons. I really am a changed person after reading this book.
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I just finished your book. I was not familiar with you or your story
beforehand. I could not put it down. It was descriptively written in a
realistic manner. I found it disturbing (how much you put your body through) and sad yet incredibly impactful. I wanted to shake you at times. You clearly have leadership qualities and tenacity (and tell a story!). Those qualities
will allow you to touch many people especially young athelets and students.
You didn't sugar coat any of your experiences which I admire because that was probably the more difficult route to take.
I wish you much happiness and success. I look forward to your next book (how about an insider's view of the NFL?).
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Hey Jason
Your book was awesome, absolutely amamzing. I am writing as a physical education teacher in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. I teach at a private school and I know its a longshot, but was wondering if you would ever be interested in coming up to Canada and speaking to at our school. I feel kids can learn so much about life with your story. I myself have endured a shitload in life as well(with struggles within my family) and honestly I feel that its stories like yours that can teach kids so much. You learn so much about the roller coaster of life, but that you can "man up" and overcome any obstacle that stands in your life. I know it would be a longshot for you to come. We would negotiate compensation, but your story is worth so much. I understand if you are busy in your life and wish you all the best.
Ricky D
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